Not Here Any More
by Konsui's Little Brother
Summary: Ryou knew what Yugi and his friends thought about him. He knew that whenever they looked at him, they saw Bakura. And when he dueled, it scared them. He didn't know why they couldn't just call him by his name, his only name. Ryou. Not Bakura.


A/N: Sorry about the ending. I had to write it up three different times because my computer kept crashing and, by the last time, I couldn't remember what I was originally going to put. I hope it doesn't seem to odd. ^.^

Also, if anyone's interested in knowing this is the second pairing story I have for Ryou! I'm taking part in a contest, which will be detailed in my profile tomorrow *the 8/8/2011th* and the pairing with Kaiba you will read below is entry two. Redtinged Lips, already posted, was the first part.

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><p>"Do you know what they think of me when I try to duel with them, Seto?" Ryou asked. The whitette lifted his head slightly, chunks of his bangs falling in front of his eyes and shadowing thm even more than they already were. His head tilted slightly and an eerily thoughtful look seemed to cross his face. "You might, I suppose, though I don't recall meeting up with you very often. Then again, I don't recall a lot of things."<p>

_Sometimes, he could make out blurred images of the times when he wasn't in control. Usually, though, it was just large blocks of time that he couldn't remember. Just blackness when he trid to think back on it. That or, if he was particularly unlucky, he could remember what he had done in his soul room._

Kaiba's almost perpetual scowl deepened, the corners of his mouth twitching down even further. Of course, the one time he relented and did something for Yugi without putting up a fight and he got stuck dealing with ramblings abotu the star-haired bratt. "What do you mean you don't 'recall' a lot of things?"

He was given no answer. Instead Ryou let his head drop back down, eyes focusing on a spot by his shoes. A silence settled between the two, seming heavy in the dank night air.

"What? You regret saying that so you're just going to shut up now? Typical." Kaiba snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.

Ryou didn't look up when he spoke this time. "I regret a lot of things but never what I say. Those words...They're all me. My own thoughts. My own feelings. Why should I regret that? Even a lie is something to be cherished. You never know when the ability to do that will be striped from you, after all."

_It had been one of the first things he had decided. Cherish every word that is your own. Never feel guilt over your words, nice or not, because they are you. They were him. And, when he was able to speak them aloud, it meant that he had control; even if it was only for a little while._

Deciding to just ignore the seemingly random blurb, Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Then why didn't you answer my question?"

"Because you didn't answer mine." Ryou stated, voice soft and whisper-like. Compared to the harsh darkness that surrounded them, it seemed almost ethereal.

For a moment, Kaiba found himself gaping at Ryou; he'd always pictured the mild-mannered boy as someone that would just bend to others wills and speak when spoken to. Within moments though he'd pulled himself together and scowled again. "Fine then!" He snapped. "I don't know what they think when they duel you. I've never seen you duel any of them before!"

Ryou's eyes once more met his, hair still half-covering his face. "That's because they won't duel with me. Which is fine, I guess. I don't have very many cards anyway. I burnt most of them."

"You did what?" Was this kid insane? Kaiba didn't know much about him but he knew the standings for the Tornament. Ryou had placed third using a deck of highly valueable ghost and ritual cards.

"I burnt them." Ryou repeated. His words were slow and drawn out, not quite mocking but close to it. "They weren't mine though, I only owned three of them." He'd kept those three; Change Of Heart, Maiden Of Faith, and Crystal Maiden. They were in a drawer next to his bed.

_He didn't see the point in keeping them. Their real owner would never be back and Ryou had never been that big of a fan of the card game. RPG's were more of his style, though lately he had even abandoned those. He didn't like what happened to him when he played those games._

"That makes no sense! Why would you burn them if they weren't yours? Hmm?" Kaiba challenged, piercing blue eyes glowering down at the younger boy. "And now you're the one not playing by your own rul-"

He was cut off by Ryou, voice just a tad sharper than before. "I always play by the rules! It's not my fault if you change the subject. Which you just did again, by the way, when you asked me more about my cards."

"Fine." The brunnette snarled. "What do Yugi and his little friends think of you when you try to duel them?" This was getting rediculous! He'd just wanted to get the whitette back to the party so it could end and everyone would leave him alone again!

"They think that I'm not actually there anymore and they get scared. Yugi tries not to, I think, but Yami always tugs his decision so that it favors what he wants. And he still holds me accountable for everything that happened during your tournament, most of them do." Ryou let his head drop again, this time slouching his shoulders down with it. He pulled his hands, scarred and calloused, from his pockets and let them rest on the cool metal of the bench. "That's why I left tonight."

_He hated the glances they sent him more than the looks of pity he got from the teachers for being so sickly. It wasn't like he had ever wanted to hurt them. It had never been his idea! They should have known that too, with all the times Ryou apologized for it. But the looks were always there and sometimes they got to be a little too much._

"Because they're afraid of you?" Kaiba asked, voice taking on an incredulous tone. That was hard to believe. As far as he knew, Yugi and his lackeys weren't afraid of anyone. Especially not someone like Ryou.

"Well, I guess it's not me they're afraid of really but it's all the same. I'm the one who is treated differently because of it." Ryou paused for a moment, hands clenching onto the metal he was sitting on tight enough that his knuckles turned white, and when he started to speak again his voice took on a more bitter tone. "They always say that friendship's the most important thing but, if you stop and think about it, there's no room in that group for anyone but the five of them."

An uncomfortable feeling starting to creep up his neck, Kaiba shifted and waved one hand in front of him. "Is there a point to this, Bakura, or are you just going to keep rambling all night?"

And, just like that, everything changed.

For the first times since Kaiba had stumbled upon the boy, Ryou's head snapped up. White hair fell into his face and over his shoulder in messy sections and, in the light of the nearby streetlamps, Kaiba could see that the boy's eyes were puffy and blood-shot. Like he'd been crying recently.

"Don't call me that!" Ryou snarled, voice dropping down to an almost gravelly tone, nearly leaping off of the bench. "It's not my name so you people should stop calling me it already!"

Surprised, Kaiba took a step back. "W-what are you going on about? I might not know you very well but I can easily remember what your name is."

Ryou took a step towards the older boy, hands fisted at his side. "But you don't or you wouldn't call me that! None of you would! I'm not Him and I don't own that name anymore! I'm just Ryou! Because you all see someone else when you look at me, doesn't mean that's who I really am!"

That's when Seto remembered, suddenly and unexpectedly, the day everything that actually happened at his tournament had been explained to him. Yugi had, briefly, mentioned a third spirit that had used Ryou as it's host.

It had gone by the name of Bakura.

"Ba-"

"Stop it!" Ryou shouted. His voice shook though and there was something worse then anger in his blood-shot eyes. Despair, lonelyness, hatred, all mashed up into one chilling blue gaze. "Stop calling me that! And you might as well just tell Yugi that I'm not coming back to the party. I don't feel like celebrating tonight..." By the end, Ryou's voice had dropped back down to that almost whisper of his and he'd retreated back to the bench he'd been perched on earlier. His hands once more found a home inside of his pockets and his eyes once again locked onto the ground by his feet.

Kaiba was silent for a moment, standing there in the air that had once more gotten thick enough to choke him. He could remember himself thinking those same thoughts, and more, about the group of duelers back at the Kami Gameshop.

So he took a few steps forward and joined the younger boy sitting on the bench.

"While we're talking about the party, I never felt like celebrating."


End file.
